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22/09/2010 / Hackett

Shocking Revelations About the Blackhawks Defense

Now Playing:  Eminem – Recovery

I refrain from calling myself an “inside source” for various reasons, but I have stumbled across some intel that I just cannot resist reporting.  It appears that the Chicago Blackhawks have a “secret weapon” that they are about to unleash upon the NHL.  (See photo below…)

Pat Kane Preseason

He rocks

The Chicago Blackhawks have placed the infamous Patrick Kane on the blue line.  According to the above photo, it’s obvious that they have abandoned hockey conventions and have adopted a reality show-style philosophy of “Hey, why not?”.  This is not a completely unprecedented move, as the Atlanta Thrashers made a very similar decision when they took big Dustin Byfuglien and relegated him to a blue-line role.  They played on the same Cup-winning team, it only stands to reason…right?!

Although it might seem like an absolutely ridiculous move, stop to consider the genius.  Has Patrick Kane EVER been known to backcheck?  BAH!  Not at all.  It’s the perfect ruse!  Kaner will confuse the forecheckers to no end, as they question “What the hell is he doing?”, and “How is he still standing…wait, does he need a shot?”

This is the perfect “under the radar” plan for head coach Joel Quenneville, in my opinion.  How else will Kane be able to finish the season as a finalist for the Hart, Selke, AND Norris trophy?  No one will see it coming.  THIS is how you defend Lord Stanley’s Cup, people.  Many thanks to my buddy KTR  of Blackhawks Down Low for the photo.

Peace out kiddies.

-Hackett

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3 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. buyankleboots / Oct 14 2010 05:52

    This is half entertaining. But then again I’m very high right now

  2. hawkeygirl23 / Jan 8 2011 11:39

    Can I just say how awesome your blog is!? Super funny! And I love how you say what music your listening to when you write them.

    • Hackett / Jan 8 2011 16:56

      Thanks for the kind words! Glad you enjoy it, and hopefully I’ll be updating more often.

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